


the worst thing that i ever did (was what i did to you)

by skysplits



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28638474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skysplits/pseuds/skysplits
Summary: “I’m sorry.” She’s surprised at how much she actually means it. Maybe because she knows what it feels like.She’s feeling it right now.Quinn knows she can’t tell him what she came here to tell him. To do so feels wrong -- like she’s taking advantage of his vulnerability.So she decides instead to do what she’s done all year -- be a friend.---My version of what happens between seasons two and three.
Relationships: Sam Evans/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	the worst thing that i ever did (was what i did to you)

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make the summary "Quinn shows up at his party," SO badly.
> 
> But Betty is Sam and James is Quinn in my mind, and that's that on that.

Quinn’s breath catches in her throat when she sees it -- the bright red For Sale sign stuck in their lawn. 

She nearly chokes when she sees the foreclosure notice perched on top. 

Before she can stop herself, she’s turning her buggy into his neighborhood and parking in what used to be her spot in the driveway. 

She must look crazy as she stumbles over her feet to get to the sign, desperately hoping that it’ll change as she approaches it. 

_There’s no way_ , Quinn thinks. Dwight and Mary make a _lot_ of money -- she knows because her mom wouldn’t stop mentioning it when she first started dating Sam. _Foreclosure? What happened?_

Quinn makes a mental note to ask Judy about it when she gets home. Word spreads fast at their church, and several members of their congregation live on this street. They might’ve already mentioned something to Judy at bible study.

She figures she should probably get out of the neighborhood before anyone spots her loitering and reports back to the Evans’. The last time she was here was, well, before she broke their son’s heart, so. She’s just grateful there are no signs of the family being home to chase her off their lawn.

She’s about to pull out of their driveway when she notices Stacey’s light pink bike tipped over at the top, and is brought back to warm fall days she’d spend sitting on the lawn, watching the twins cycle around the neighborhood after school as they waited for Sam to call them inside for their snacks (usually ants on a log -- cooking really isn’t Sam’s thing). 

And she remembers how stressed Sam would get after school, trying to clean up the kids’ messes before Dwight and Mary got home. _“I don’t want my parents to have to worry about more stuff than they already do,”_ rings around in her head. A pang of guilt hits her chest. 

Back then, she would roll her eyes, kiss his cheek, and tease him for being “the perfect son” before helping him, but she never put two and two together. _Always too self-involved to press further, aren’t you Quinn?_ she thinks to herself.

What other signs of struggle had Sam let out that she failed to pick up on?

Her eyes wander across the lawn, noticing just how unruly the grass had become, and how many toys the twins had left tossed outside.

Against her better judgment, Quinn steps out of the car to start cleaning, neighbors and rumors be damned. 

Her memory serves her well. She remembers the passcode to unlock the shed is 1995 as a nod to Sam’s birth year. She remembers that Stevie’s toys _have to_ go on the left side of the shed, and Stacey’s toys _have to_ go on the right. _“Because that’s how our rooms are set up, Quinn. Duh.”_

She also remembers that the twins’ favorite toy was the giant Jenga set Dwight had built for them, so she spends some extra time brushing the dirt off the blocks with the bottom hem of her skirt before setting them up against the back wall of the shed. 

Before she knows it, it’s a quarter til 6, and she needs to leave if she wants to make it on time for the Hummel-Hudson’s weekly game night.

So she hurries out of the backyard, making sure to lock the shed and fence behind her when she notices the bikes still out at the top of the driveway. She moves to put them back on their hooks in the garage when she remembers that she probably doesn’t have free reign to open the garage anymore. Come to think of it, she definitely overstepped the moment she drove into their neighborhood and flung open the gates to their private property, but something about punching in their garage code felt more personal, more invasive. Like she was still a part of their family. 

Instead she chooses to stand the bikes upright against the side of the house before pulling out of the driveway, her hands and skirt both dusty from spending so much time in the shed. She’d have to think of an excuse for her state for once she got to Finn’s. 

She’s just pulling up to the stop sign to get out of the neighborhood when she sees Sam’s pick-up rounding the corner and coming into view. Panicking, she floors her gas and makes her turn, her car screeching in protest as she speeds away. 

She wonders if he saw her pull away. 

There’s no way in hell she’s looking in her rearview to check.

+

She hates being late. 

Like, absolutely _despises_ it. It’s one of the main reasons why she and Finn were at each other’s throats the first time they dated. He was always so calm and relaxed, no matter how late they were to a movie or how close they cut it to a dinner reservation. 

And yet, it’s 9:43am, and she’s sitting in her car, waiting for Judy to wash the smell of alcohol off so they can head over to 10am Sunday Mass. 

If she weren’t so exhausted from holding Judy up against the toilet bowl all night, Quinn would have the energy to be angry.

When they get to church it’s 10:02 and mass has already started. Quinn wants to die at the deafening click her heels make on the floor as she scans the back pews for empty spots. 

Judy spots some faster than she does, and she’s tugging Quinn over to some seats next to a few blonde heads. 

Quinn wishes she were back on the floor of the bathroom, holding Judy’s hair back when she realizes who her mother has seated them next to.

Surprisingly, the Evans give Quinn a kind smile, scooting over and making more room for the Fabrays as they invade their pew. The twins wave frantically and start whispering unintelligibly to Quinn until Mary gives them a stern look, giggling as they settle back down and pay attention to the start of the readings.

_Sam’s not here_. She can’t tell if she’s relieved or disappointed. 

Quinn tries to pay attention to whatever homily Father Michael was sharing this week instead of her confusion at the Evans’ warm reception towards her and her mother. She figured with how callously she’d humiliated their son, they’d never want to be in the same vicinity as her again.

The smell of pizza and a sudden shadow pull her out of her thoughts, and when she looks up, Sam’s sliding into the pew, eyebrows raised as he sits down to join his family (and apparently, the Fabrays) for Mass.

Her heat skips a beat. _Well crap_.

+

She has a hard time focusing on the rest of the service and stumbles over songs she’s been singing her whole life. It’s one thing to end up sitting next to Sam in Glee club -- it’s a whole other to have to sit through an entire service about “goodness” and “repentance” when she’s actively hurt the person she’s sitting next to. 

When they’re finally given the dismissal, Sam all but runs out of the chapel, throwing a, “I’ll see you at home,” to his parents on his way out, completely ignoring Quinn in the process.

She lets out a breath and grabs on to Judy’s sleeve to try to get out of her own personal nightmare as soon as possible.

But of course, Judy is oblivious to Quinn’s desperation to try and escape, instead shrugging her daughter’s hand off as she immediately turns to Mary and loudly asks, “Mary, why has it been so long since we last caught up?” 

Mary’s a Saint for not immediately shooting back with, “Well because your little Quinnie’s a harlot who cheated on my son, Judy.” Instead, Mary happily engages in conversation with Judy as the twins scoot past their parents to get to Quinn.

“Quinn!” Stacey cries, wrapping her arms around Quinn’s midsection. Stevie takes advantage of his parent’s distraction to climb up on the pews and fling himself around on her back, settling in for a piggy back ride. “Where’ve you been?”

Quinn can’t help but smile at the twins’ excitement to see her. She doesn’t even care that Stevie is definitely wrinkling her dress. She’s missed them too. 

“Oh you know,” Quinn says, following Stacey as she grabs her hand and starts pulling the trio out of the chapel and towards the parking lot. “I’ve been around. How’ve you been, kiddos?”

The twins start launching into conversation about everything she’s missed since the last time she’s seen them. 

Stevie’s lost another tooth, and sticks his tongue through the hole with a, “See?” for good measure. Stacey’s math grade has pulled up a bit since Quinn taught her that cool trick about the 9 times tables. 

She doesn’t even realize Stacey’s leading her right to Sam until she lets go of her hand and runs to her older brother.

“Sam!” the little girl cries out. “It’s Quinn!” 

Quinn stops in her tracks for a second, Stevie still on her back as she tries to figure out her next move. She wonders if the police would consider it a kidnapping if she just started booking it with Stevie still on her back until she got far away from there.

Against her better judgement, she takes a few small steps toward him, greeting him with a small smile and a tentative, “Hey” as Stevie slides down her back to chase Stacey, who’s gone to join their friends on the church’s playground.

“Hi.”

“Good homily today.”

Sam nods, stuffing his hands into his pockets and doing his best to look anywhere except at her. 

“Listen, I didn’t mean…” Quinn starts, trying to find her words. “I wasn’t paying attention to where Stacey was taking us. I was just excited to talk to the twins again. I should’ve let them go before we got close to you, I’m sorry.”

The younger boy shakes his head, digging the heel of his shoe into the ground. “It’s fine, Quinn. Forget it.”

Quinn’s about to lean against his car when she notices that it’s in need of a good wash, and decides against it. She remembers when he first got it -- a congratulations present from his parents for passing his driver’s license test. He was so excited to take her on a date to the local drive-in theater. 

She remembers when she saw him driving it just last week, turning into the neighborhood she went screeching out of trying to avoid him.

“So, um,” she tries, not knowing how to start this conversation. “I don’t know if you saw--”

“Saw the marks on the street where you burned your tires down trying to avoid me seeing you pulling out of my neighborhood?” Sam interrupts, amusement dripping from his voice. “Yeah, I saw.” He runs his hands through his overgrown hair, the darker roots more visible as he shakes it out. “And thanks. You know, for…”

“Don’t mention it.”

“No, really Quinn. It meant a lot that you did that. But please, don’t do it again.” Quinn wants to argue against his refusal of her help, but he stops her before she starts with, “So I guess this means you know?” He sighs, shoulders slumping. 

“Sort of.” She wants to ask for details, but there’s a more pressing issue at hand. “Sam how are you… and I mean _really_ , how are you doing?” 

Sam looks around, and Quinn realizes they’re still out in the open. Families are walking pretty closely by the pair as they pile into their cars to drive home. He jerks his head towards his truck, and Quinn follows him, settling into the passenger seat that once basically had her name embroidered into the headrest.

She can’t be sure, but she swears the seat is at the exact adjustments she set during their first excursion together.

Once the doors are shut and they’re not in danger of being overheard, she looks over at him. Sam’s head is resting against the back of his seat, eyes closed. His chest moves up and down, slowly, as he tries to control his breathing.

Quinn knows this look from days spent comforting Sam last fall, when he hurt his shoulder and lost his starting quarterback position. Pure, absolute frustration.

She’s moving towards him to brush the stray hairs out of his face when the little voice in her head screams a reminder: _You are_ not _his girlfriend._

She brings her hand back to her lap as she stares at him, wondering if she should be the one to break the silence, if trying to get him to talk would be helpful.

He makes the decision for her.

“My parents lost their jobs a few months ago,” he starts slowly. He still won’t look at her. “Guess the economy didn’t turn around as much as their companies thought it would when they hired them and went through a bunch of layoffs.” Quinn wants to scream at the world -- there are no harder workers than Dwight and Mary Evans, no parents who love their children more. “They used up all their savings during the move last year, so they had to find jobs right away but no one was hiring in their fields. So they picked up some part-time gigs, used my college funds, but it wasn’t enough.”

Quinn has no idea what to say. 

“I started working at Dominos -- that’s why I was late to mass today -- and I’m taking care of Stacey and Stevie every day after school since we can’t afford a babysitter even a few days a week. My grades are slipping, I feel like I’m drowning, Quinn.” His voice gives as he says, “I’m tired.” 

“I’m so sorry, Sam.”

Judy’s sharp knock on the passenger side window makes the both of them jump.

“So sorry to interrupt you two,” Judy says once Quinn rolls down the windows. “Sam, it’s so lovely to see you, but we really do need to be going.” 

Quinn’s about to ask for a few more minutes when Sam jumps in with, “Yeah, of course Mrs. Fabray. We were just wrapping up here.”

Her mother smiles at the two of them before heading back to the car. 

Quinn takes advantage of this last moment of privacy, breaking the invisible barrier between them to place her hand on his arm.

“Sam. Look at me, please.” It takes a minute, and Quinn’s about to ask him again but he finally does. She sees that exhaustion has set in his face.

This is not the same boy who tried to woo her with a Matthew McConaughey impression on their first date.

She ignores the ache in her chest at this realization to repeat the words Mercedes told her the first night she stayed at the Jones’ house. 

“It is _not_ weak to accept the help of your friends, okay?” She says earnestly, tightening her grip on his arm. “It’s not weak to ask for it, either.” She swallows the lump in her throat when she sees his eyes start to shine, wet with tears. “And I know you probably don’t think of me as your friend but… I can be. If you want.”

And with that, she lets go of his arm and steps out of his truck.

+

The entire ride home, Judy’s talking Quinn’s ear off about all of the gossip she heard that day from various members of the parish. Quinn tunes most of it out, focusing on the drive until something catches her attention. 

“And _oh,_ Quinn it’s so awful. After you mentioned their house last week, I asked around, and Chrsitine told me that the bank just came by one day and _kicked them out_ . Just took everything, and now they’re living in _a motel_ . In _Lima Heights Adjacent._ ” Quinn swears she sees Judy shiver in the passenger seat at the thought. “Poor Dwight and Mary,” she tuts.

“Though, I must say -- I’m relieved you’re no longer seeing Sam. He’s a sweet boy, don’t get me wrong, but I would _hate_ to think of you going over to spend time with your boyfriend in a _motel_. No, it’s much better that you’re dating Finn again.”

Quinn ignores her mother’s comment and the way it makes her jaw set. Instead, she responds with, “That is horrible mom.” Suddenly, an idea pops in her head. “Um, do you know which motel they’re staying at?”

“Oh no, I didn’t catch the name. I wonder if Christine knows -- I’ll ask her tonight.”

“No, please don’t. I’d hate for the Evans’ to hear we were asking around about them.”

“Fine, fine. But it’s Lima Heights Adjacent, Quinnie, there are only what, five motels total? And with their financials, I assume they’re staying in the cheapest one.”

+

Quinn wonders at what point someone would consider her behavior as, “stalking.” 

With some quick Google searches, price comparisons, and batting eyelashes at the 20-year old college drop-out behind the counter, Quinn figures out the Evans’ are occupying room 3 at American Family Motel.

Before school the next day, she leaves a plate of brownies outside the door. Her mom’s secret recipe, and the twins’ favorite. 

+

The pasta’s almost ready when his name lights up her phone. 

Sam Evans

Today 6:54pm

_thanks quinn, the twins were so happy_

_apparently ate a couple for breakfast lol_

Her fingers fly across the screen as she types out a response, ecstatic that he’s accepted her peace offering

_Glad they liked them. I’ll make them anytime they want._

_Haha, tell your mom I apologize for the morning sugar rush._

_:) they’ll be happy to hear that_

His next text comes after five minutes.

_so... that offer to be friends?_

_is it still on the table?_

She doesn’t even need to think about it.

_Absolutely._

The smile on her face doesn’t falter until Finn calls out, “Hey babe,” and walks into view. “Your mom’s home and the table’s set. Dinner almost ready?”

She gives the pasta one last stir before turning the burner off. “Yeah, basically done. I’ll plate, can you bring the dishes out?”

She tries to remind herself she’s not doing anything wrong when the guilt creeps up her spine.

It doesn’t work.

+

It becomes a part of her routine. Every Monday morning, she declines Finn’s offer for a ride to McKinley, instead waking up an extra 20 minutes early to drop off a plate of brownies, a frozen lasagna, and a casserole outside American Family Motel Room 3. She can’t bring herself to knock when she gets there.

Instead, she texts him, “ _Monday delivery outside for you”_ once she knows her car is out of sight of the motel.

Losing the 20 minutes of sleep to add this to her routine is worth it -- the thank you from Sam is usually accompanied by a smiling picture of the twins, each with brownie bits in their teeth.

+

One morning, her thank you comes not by way of text. 

Instead, a wrinkled piece of paper falls out of her locker as she opens it, and there’s the Captain America shirt Sam was wearing the day they met folded neatly next to a mug that looks hand-painted in her favorite shade of blue.

_To Quinn:_

_A smock for the next time you go to Color Me Mine._ _  
_ _Sorry we never got to go. I went with the twins that day instead. Stacey wanted to paint it pink, but Stevie remembered your favorite color._

_They kept asking me to give it to you. Glad I finally got to._

_Thanks,_

_Sam_

_P.S. - grateful you taught me how to break into lockers, but my mom looked at me weird when I asked for one of her nail files_

  
  


When they lock eyes later that day at Glee, he offers her a smile and the seat next to him.

She takes it and returns a smile of her own.

  
  


+

  
  


Sam re-stakes his claim at the top of her messages list. And not just because of the “Glee Minus Rachel Barry” group chat that Santana created.

Sometimes it’s a picture of a drawing that Stacey made for her, or a video of Stevie trying out a new trick on his skateboard. Other times it’s a picture of the cleared out casserole dish of the week. 

Quinn starts the most recent thread when he’s dozing off in AP Biology. 

Sam Evans

Today 8:37am

_Your head keeps bobbing up and down. Better stay awake or Dr. Peters will call on you._

_lol u keepin tabs on me fabray??_

_can’t help that i find plants boring_

_only got a few hours of sleep last nite_

_And you complain that your grades are slipping :P_

A smile appears on her face when she looks up to see his shoulders shake with a silent laugh.

_The test is on Friday. You ready?_

_boooo don’t remind me_

_working every day this week so won’t have time to study_

Her eyebrows furrow, lips pursing with worry. He’s been working 6 days a week, and Saturdays he spends all day watching the twins. 

So she pushes back.

_You need to study._

_Want a study buddy?_

_doubt i’d be much of a buddy…_

_better word would be tutor_

_Haha fine. Want a tutor?_

_earliest i finish work this week is wed at 9pm_

_don’t want to keep u up_

_Remember what I said about accepting offers for help?_

_…_

_u suck_

_Hm, I think you misspelled, “Thank you, Quinn.”_

_I’ll see you Wednesday night. I’ll come over so you can head straight home after work._

_i’ll bring pizza :)_

_(thank you, quinn)_

  
  


+

Quinn’s never seen the inside of their motel room before.

Or any motel room. So she isn’t sure what she expected, or why she’s surprised when she discovers that the family of five is living in a room that’s _literally_ the size of her mother’s closet. 

She waves off Sam’s apology at the lack of study space in the room, grateful that Cotillion training gave her the ability to smile away any uncomfortable situation. Instead she suggests studying out on the porch to avoid bothering the twins and his parents, who are fast asleep after another long day of unsuccessful job interviews. 

It’s nearly 12:30am, and the two teenagers are sitting on a rather ostentatious picnic blanket Sam dug out of his truck bed, kept company by a half-eaten box of pizza and a cold pot of coffee on the ground. 

“Sam,” Quinn starts, gently tapping his hand with the back of her pencil as Sam’s mind wanders off. “C’mon, this last question and I promise we’ll be done for tonight. Differences between plant and animal cells.”

Sam rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Uh…” 

“Remember the Venn Diagram we drew?” 

“Oh, yeah. Plant cells have chloroplasts, a larger vacuole size, and the cell wall.” 

“And animal cells?”

“Uh… smaller vacuoles, centrioles and centrosomes, and flagella and…” 

“We used to joke about traveling to an Italian city with a similar name.”

“Right! Cilia.”

“Yes!” Quinn closes her binder and smiles at the exhausted boy next to her. “Okay, as promised, the last question for tonight. I think you’re in a good place for the exam on Friday, so long as you review everything tomorrow.”

“Thanks Quinn.” Letting his head fall against the wall, he closes his eyes and sighs out in relief. It reminds her of when he confided in her after Mass -- still exhausted, but this time, he at least looks somewhat at peace. She doesn’t know how to feel about it. “Would’ve died without you.”

“M’hm, and you’ll die of hypothermia if you fall asleep out here, ridiculous picnic blanket and all.” Quinn dusts off her skirt and stands, holding a hand out for Sam to take. “Really, where did you even get this? Not really your mom’s style.”

“Kurt gave it to me.” Sam grabs her coat off the ground before taking her hand to stand up. He opens it up for her to turn into. “He actually dropped off a ton of stuff for me when he found out.” 

Quinn blushes as she slips an arm through, somehow feeling heat in her cheeks despite the cold weather. “I didn’t know--”

“It happened a week or so ago, before he came back to McKinley. Dropped off a pizza at Dalton and he and Blaine were there.” 

“And you told him?”

“Don’t know if you’ve met Kurt, but he’s not really the type to let things go.”

Quinn laughs as she pulls her hair out from underneath the collar of her coat before helping him clean up the mess they’ve made over the last few hours. “No, I don’t suppose he is.” 

She tosses the remaining coffee over the edge of the porch and hands the pot back to Sam. He slips inside to put everything away before coming back out to walk her to her car. 

“You know, when I moved in with the Jones’ last year, my dad cut all my cards off. All my saved up babysitting money was going to Doctor’s visits and vitamins, so I couldn’t even afford to get my hair cut. I know it’s a stupid thing to care about--”

“It’s not,” Sam says, and Quinn’s not sure if the way he pushes his overgrown hair out of his face is intentional.

“Yeah, I guess it’s not. Anyway, Kurt set up a mini hair salon in the basement and gave me a couple trims. Mercedes even painted my toes when I couldn’t reach them over my bump. Those two were really there for me, no judgements.” Wrapping her arms around herself she leans against the driver’s side door and looks up at Sam, remembering what he said to her at Breadstix on their first date. 

_I don’t judge you, or anything._

“They’re the ones who taught me--”

“That it’s not weak to accept help, right?”

Quinn smiles.

“Right.” The night sky is cloudless, and the full moon casts light on Sam’s face in a way that lets Quinn see the bags that have started to form under his eyes. 

Sixteen is much too young for that. 

Cocking her head to the side, Quinn places her hand on Sam’s cheek and slowly, gently moves her thumb under his eye, tracing the dark circle. She swears she feels him lean into her palm.

She immediately feels guilty at how much she wants to close the gap between them.

Dropping her hand, she ignores the hurt look on his face and briskly asks, “So what are you doing this weekend?” 

“I have to babysit the twins. Mom and dad are heading down to Tennessee to get the last of our stuff from the storage room, since we can’t afford to keep any of the stuff in there anymore.”

The words spill out of her mouth before she can even blink. “I’ll do it. You should take Saturday and go do something with Kurt and Blaine.”

“I can’t--”

“ _Yes_ , you can. You deserve to. I’m coming over anyway, and if you don’t text Kurt to make plans, I’ll do it for you.”

He knows there’s no point in fighting her when she gets like this, so he gives in. “Okay, fine. I’ll text him, I promise.” Reaching around her, he opens the car door for her.

She slips inside and turns the engine on, murmuring, “Always a gentleman.”

Laughing, he says, “Can’t take Tennessee out of the boy. I’ll call you on Friday to give you the rundown on Stacey and Stevie’s routine.”

“You don’t have to do that, Sam. I remember everything from when we--.” Her eyes flash up to him and quickly fall back down, and she bites her tongue before continuing. “From before. I know their Saturday routine from before.”

He doesn’t seem to notice. “You always were their favorite babysitter.”

“Well, they’re great kids. Glad I get to be back in their lives.”

He raises an eyebrow. She knows that look. He’s wondering if she’s including him in that statement. 

Honestly, she’s wondering the same thing.

+

She’s already been inside for a few minutes when she hears the bell chime. She’s actively fighting the urge to roll her eyes when she sees the two of them walk in together, knowing Rachel waited in the parking lot for Finn. 

All patience is lost when Rachel squeals and jumps at a loud noise coming from the back.

“For God’s sake, Rachel, it’s a pawn shop in the middle of the day, not a murder house. Relax.”

There’s a sense of satisfaction that washes over her when Rachel’s cheeks flush red.

They walk to the back wall -- all the guitars hanging on one wall. Finn takes each one down as Quinn inspects it, making sure it’s exactly what they’re looking for.

They’ve gone through several when Rachel pipes up. “Are you sure it’s still here? You said he put it up over a month ago. Could be long gone.”

“If you’re so afraid, you can leave,” Quinn snipes back. Rachel and Finn of all people should be willing to put in the time to help her find the guitar after the drama they caused in Glee club that week.

It’s the third from last, and Quinn recognizes it the second Finn lifts it off the hanger. “That one.” 

“You don’t need a closer look?” he questions, bringing it down to look at it himself.

“No, I would know it anywhere.”

She averts her eyes at the look Finn sends her way.

Finn and Rachel walk towards the worker to pay for the guitar, and Quinn takes this moment to slip the ring in the side pocket.

Her hope is that Rachel and Finn don’t see it before they give it to Sam on their way home. 

+

She’s just finished wiping the last of the mascara from her face when she checks her phone.

Finn

Today 10:02pm

_I’m home. Call me when you can?_

The Unholy Trinity

Today 10:08pm

_Britt: Santana says she’s sorry_

_Britt: Want to join us dancing with everyone else’s dates?_

_Santana: I am NOT sorry._

_Santana: Okay fine, I’m a little sorry._

_Britt: We love you, Quinn, let’s spend prom together!_

  
  


Sam Evans

Today 10:13pm

_r u ok?_

_hello?_

_mercedes and i r worried_

_I’m fine, Sam._

_u look beautiful_

_we voted for u_

_Thank you._

+

The next morning, she swings by the Evans’ motel to pick up the twins for church before Sam leaves for his shift. Mr. and Mrs. Evans are down in Kentucky, checking out houses to see if they can afford to move down there, now that Dwight has a job offer. 

It still stings, not having won. But the way Stacey begs her to see photos of her in her prom dress, and the way Stevie says, “You look like Cinderella,” brings a smile to her face that barely leaves the rest of the morning. 

After church, she, Kurt and Blaine, and Mercedes are all sitting in their usual Sunday afternoon spots -- on lawn chairs in the field behind the Evans’ motel, trudging through homework and watching the twins run around while Sam’s finishing up his shift at Dominos. 

He shows up a little bit after four in the afternoon, and calls the twins inside to grab their snacks. Quinn can’t help but notice that he’s more relaxed than he’s been in months as the twins run to him. There’s a real smile on his face as he catches Stevie in his arms and takes him inside. 

“Q,” Mercedes waves a hand in front of her face, bringing her attention back to the group. “I figured out question thirteen when you’re ready.” 

“Of course you did.” As competitive as she is, Quinn gave up trying to beat Mercedes in math sophomore year. They would often compete last year to see who could best the other in their trigonometry class -- Mercedes always won. But Quinn would beat her in her English assignments, so she figured it all balanced out.

“To be fair, you were watching the kids more than I was.”

“Just don’t want one of them to run off. It’s not like I need to give Dwight and Mary another reason to hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” Kurt pipes up, furrowing his perfectly shaped brows while keeping his eyes on his laptop. “They literally only ever talk about how wonderful you and your demonically delicious brownies are.”

“But I…”

“I don’t even think Sam told them about it, Quinn.” Mercedes could always read her insecurities. “He wouldn’t do that. He cares about you a lot.”

Quinn shakes her head, a bit of color rising in her cheeks. “Regardless, I wouldn’t have beaten you anyway, ‘Cedes. You are _annoyingly_ amazing at math.” 

Mercedes has just about finished explaining the problem set to her when Stacey and Stevie come running out of the motel room.

“Quinn!” Stacey yells, an arm behind her back as she makes her way towards her. “We made you something.”

Stevie reaches her first, and runs behind her to cover her eyes. “It’s a surprise.”

Laughing, she relents and humors them, holding her hands out. “I’m nervous.”

Stacey climbs up onto her lap, and before Quinn can react, she feels something settle on top of her head.

“Ta da!” Stevie removes his hands from her eyes, and Stacey puts a mirror in front of her so she can see the blue paper crown with “Prom Queen” written across the top resting on her head. “We made it with Mercedes, Rachel, and Sam when they got back last night. It matches your dress.”

“And it’s your favorite color.”

Quinn’s blinking at her reflection in the mirror, stunned into silence. Stevie moves to sit on Mercedes’ lap and asks, “So do you like it?”

She doesn’t notice that Sam’s made his way over to the group until he says, “I know it’s not the real thing, but we thought that maybe--”

“No,” Quinn interrupts, voice catching. Clearing her throat, she looks at the twins, wraps her arms around Stacey and gives her a kiss on her temple. “It’s better. Thank you.”

“It’s actually so irritating that you can make a _paper crown_ look good,” Kurt complains.

Quinn spends the rest of her afternoon with the crown glued to her head, laughing along with her friends as they tease her for refusing to take it off. 

Nine times out of ten, when she looks over at Sam, he’s smiling at her. 

The only time he’s not, he’s stealing glances at Mercedes.

+

She clutches his arm when she finally catches up to him. 

“Drive me home?”

Sam doesn’t ask any questions when he sees the tears forming in her eyes. Just wraps an arm around her shoulders and leads her away from the crowd that’s forming outside the church, knowing she hates them.

His hand doesn’t leave hers the entire way back to her house, and the only sound that keeps them company is the rattling of Sam’s truck as they drive over the potholes. 

They walk up to the porch together, taking a seat on the bench they used to spend hours people watching on. 

The words fall out of her mouth as soon as she’s off her feet. “He broke up with me. For her. God, this is so _embarrassing_.” She buries her face in her hands, refusing to cry again. “Why am I always his second choice?”

“Yeah… yeah it doesn’t feel too good.”

She shoots up, mortified when she realizes the meaning behind his words. “Oh my God, Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean--”

“No.” His response is firm. “No, it wasn’t a dig at you, Quinn. I was just… well, yeah it sucks. And yeah, I’m referring to when you chose Finn over me, but…” Sam trails off, not meeting her eyes. “Anyway, it’s fine. I didn’t take it that way. I just also know it sucks.”

“It was insensitive.”

He gives her a smile. “You know I was talking to Rachel at prom, and she was saying the same thing. How Finn continues to choose one of you over the other. I asked her why she kept wanting him even after. She said, ‘You’d forgive your first love anything.’ Maybe that’s why you went back to Finn. Probably why Finn forgave you, too.”

His phone rings, and he takes a quick look at it before silencing it. 

“Who was that?”

He gives her a sheepish look. “Uh… technically I’m supposed to be at work right now.”

“Oh my God, Sam, go.”

“Are you okay?”

Quinn practically pushes him all the way to his truck when he insists on staying to make sure she’s fine. “You need to go to work, Sam,” she interrupts, refusing to listen to him. “You’ve done more than enough.”

He’s buckled into his seat and rolls down his window, and she takes this opportunity to apologize one last time. “I’m sorry,” she starts. “For being insensitive. And for making you late. And for… well. Making you feel like a second choice. Honestly Sam, it’s one of the worst things I did.”

“Look Quinn,” he sighs, tussling his overgrown hair. “At some point you have to stop apologizing. I forgave you a long time ago.”

Looking her right in the eyes, he says one last thing before driving away, leaving her speechless. 

“I would forgive you anything.”

+

“So Kentucky’s official.” He tells her the week after their loss at Nationals while they study for finals on the floor of his porch. The same spot they chose the first time Quinn came over to help Sam with his biology exam. The same spot they’d spent countless evenings since.

It almost knocks her out. 

“For how long?” The second her question tumbles out, she knows the answer. 

“I guess forever. Dad signed the offer letter on Friday and then I guess found a place we can rent down there Saturday.” A puff of air pushes out of his lips. “We move in June once the school year is over.”

Her chest tightens. “Sam, that’s… that’s great. I’m so happy for you guys.” 

Sam shrugs. “Dunno how I feel about it yet. I’d be leaving a lot of people behind.” He looks over at her, blue eyes focused on green. “Like you. I don’t want to lose you, Quinn.”

He says it so gently, so honestly that Quinn can’t wrap her head around it.

_I know this feeling, lo--. Like I need you._

She wants to tell him that he could _never_ lose her. That his friendship over the last few months have meant more to her than she could possibly describe. 

She wants to tell him that when he smiles at her, all the pain that she went through with Finn was worth it, if it meant it sent her straight back to him.

But Quinn’s never been able to have a relationship with any level of honesty.

And the chance that Sam could reject her… well, that’s not something she can afford to think about, let alone live through.

So instead she chooses to gently laugh his words off and shake her head, breaking eye contact to look down at the open binder in her lap.

“Focus on your paper, Sam.”

She doesn’t need to be looking at him to know there’s disappointment laced across his face.

+

Living at her sister’s house in Vermont for summer break was always Quinn’s favorite part of the year. There’s a peace here -- a room with a bay window that overlooks the lake near Frannie’s house, a library filled to the brim with books that weren’t just about constitutional law. And unconditional love from her sister that she rarely felt at her mom’s. Leaving to go to Cheerio’s camp in August was always difficult. 

But this summer is a bit different. By the third night, she’s homesick for the first summer since she was a little girl.

She misses hot nights by her pool with Santana and Brittany, who had been annoyingly -- surprisingly? -- supportive after her meltdown at Nationals, never letting her spend a moment alone. “Because we love you, Quinn,” was Brittany’s answer. “Because your dick of a dad built an amazing pool, Quinn,” was of course, Santana’s.

She misses the Lima Fair, with the horrendously delicious funnel cakes that always got powdered sugar on her nose. 

She misses watching Stevie and Stacey run around in the field behind the motel and asking her to read them bedtime stories.

Most of all, she misses Sam. 

Dwight and Mary allow him to stay in Lima for the Summer as a thank you for working so hard while they tried to get back on their feet, and Kurt eagerly offers him a place at the Hummel-Hudson’s. 

He Facetimes her every night. Sometimes he hangs out with Santana and Brittany at her mom’s pool, having used Santana’s key that was definitely for emergencies only, and the four of them will call and talk as if Sam’s always been a part of the group. Sometimes he’s with Finn, Kurt, and Blaine, sometimes he’s with Mercedes. 

Quinn’s favorite calls are when she gets Sam alone. 

He tells her about Family Game Night at Kurt’s, and they bond over Finn’s horrible Pictionary abilities. About Stevie and Stacey and how they love their new neighbors. And he tells her every night that he wishes she were in Lima, and that he can’t wait for her to get back so they can hang out before he has to join his family in Kentucky. 

And for a few minutes every night before bed, Quinn allows herself to think about what it might be like if she told him what she’s been wanting to tell him for months.

It’s enough to keep her homesickness at bay until the next evening, when Sam’s name lights up her screen. 

+

Quinn has two weeks left in Vermont when he tells her he’s leaving earlier than planned.

“I have to leave Lima in two days. My mom got a job that pays more than Dominos, so I need to go to Kentucky and take care of the kids until school starts.

She doesn’t offer a response. 

“Uh, it’ll be good, you know. Getting to see the twins and everything.” Still nothing. “They miss you, you know. They ask about you all the time.”

After they hang up, she tosses and turns in her bed for a few hours.

It’s well past 1:00 am when she changes her ticket to the next available flight to Lima. 

When she kisses Frannie goodbye the next morning, her older sister doesn’t ask any questions. She merely smiles and says, “Go get him.”

+

The drive to Kurt’s house feels unfamiliar, though she’s made it countless times before. 

For starters, she’s calling it _Kurt’s_ house, and not Finn’s. 

The second reason being she’s going to profess her love to someone who may not say it back. 

_That’s_ not something she’s particularly used to.

She wonders what will happen when he sees her again, when she finally tells him that he could never lose her, and that she loves him.

+

Quinn’s breath catches in her throat when she sees them, hands clasped together and the space between them non-existent. 

She nearly chokes when he leans down to kiss her.

+

“Quinn!” 

She can hear his excitement, but she’s frozen on the sidewalk in front of the Hummel-Hudson’s, trying to process what she just saw. 

_Mercedes and Sam?_

They run down to her and Sam throws his arms open, and Quinn’s able to shake herself out of shock in time to reciprocate his hug. “Hi,” she manages to get out. 

“What are you doing here?” Mercedes asks before leaning in for a tight hug herself.

“Sam called me yesterday and told me he was leaving tomorrow. I wanted to, uh,” Quinn’s eyes can’t stop moving between the two of them. “I wanted to come and say goodbye in person.”

The three of them catch-up for a bit, Quinn doing her very best not to blurt out, “What the hell!” in the middle of their conversation, until Mercedes says she has to make it home for dinner.

The two of them are left, sitting on the stairs outside Kurt’s house. 

Sam’s smile hasn’t disappeared since he spotted her a few minutes ago. “God, I still can’t believe you’re here.” 

“Yeah, me neither.” She doesn’t offer anything else, just stares at him until he starts to look embarrassed.

“Well, I guess you saw…”

“Yeah.”

“It happened at prom. Sort of,” he starts, before launching into his explanation. How they started spending more time together, and how wonderful of a support system she’d provided him since he revealed his situation at Glee, and how they both agreed to keep it private. “But anyway, she was over today because we were trying to decide what to do after I moved.”

She can’t help herself. “And what did you decide?”

“Made the most sense to break up.” Sam shrugs, but Quinn knows him better than to believe he actually thinks that. “It was a goodbye kiss.” 

And Quinn knows that it’s more than just disappointment written across his face.

It might honestly be heartbreak. 

“I’m sorry.” She’s surprised at how much she actually means it. Maybe because she knows what it feels like. 

She’s feeling it right now.

Quinn knows she can’t tell him what she came here to tell him. To do so feels wrong -- like she’s taking advantage of his vulnerability.

So she decides instead to do what she’s done all year -- be a friend. 

Sam spots the gift bag in her hands, immediately perking up. “That for me?”

“Yeah, actually,” Quinn says. “Well, one of them is. This one’s for the twins.” Quinn first hands over the envelope with her mom’s brownie recipe written on it. “My mom asked me to make you swear you’d never give it away. Otherwise she may come find you all in Kentucky.”

“Oh my god, _my_ mom is going to kill me for bringing this home. She’s never going to stop making it!” Sam cries, already pulling out his phone to take a picture to send to his parents. “The devil, Quinn Fabray.”

“And this next present is sort of a re-gifting, I guess.” Quinn hands him the gift bag and watches his eyes soften as he opens it, finding his Captain America shirt folded neatly inside.

“I know it was your favorite shirt,” Quinn says. “I can’t keep it. Plus, you were wearing it the first day we met and the day you broke up with me. You gave it to me after we had made up. I thought it was only fitting that we said goodbye with me giving it back.”

“Thank you. I did miss it.” When he flashes that boyish smile at her, her heart flutters. 

“I can see why. I have to admit it’s incredibly comfortable to sleep in.”

“I actually have a present for you too. I was going to head over to Santana’s since I wasn’t going to see you before I left .” 

He reaches into his pocket to pull out a box. Inside sits her promise ring. Quinn swears it’s brighter than before. 

“I know why you gave it back to me, I know you wanted me to sell it and get money for it, but this was always yours. I could never give it to anyone else.” Sam takes her hand and slips the ring on her finger. 

“I know we’re not dating anymore, and I know my original promise doesn’t apply. But I want us to promise to stay in touch. What you did for me this year, Quinn… I’ll never forget it. I meant what I said. I don’t want to lose you.”

Sam walks her to her car one last time, opening the door for her as always. She’s buckled into her seat, and she’s about to leave when in rushes the courage she’s been looking for, for months. This time, not to tell him that she loves him -- no, she knows she can't do that. But to be honest with him, and tell him what he means to her in no uncertain terms, just as he's been doing from the very beginning.

She refuses to let this moment slip away, and rolls down her windows to say, “You could never lose me.”

And with that, she drives away.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Just felt like we never got any sort of closure on what happened between Sam and Quinn during Glee and decided to write myself some. 
> 
> Y'all idk how some of you churn out 10k+ words in all of your works. This was ~exhausting~
> 
> I hope those of you who read it, enjoyed it!


End file.
